Well, good. Let's talk. As you've by now realized, I'm not fighting with you. I've walked the path.

I have Asperger's Syndrome and an auditory processsing disorder, so while I don't have any mental illnesses, my brain simply doesn't work the same way, and I had a very difficult time (together with a lot of abuse). So I was looking for something that made sense, and that's how I got caught up in Christianity. It was a very traumatic path, and it caused me a lot of harm.

Neither of my parents were involved in any sort of religion, but I did go to a religious school, so I got used to the religious thingie. Later I become a Christian, and then a Jew, and I eventually got involved with many different perspectives.

I wrote two articles in the past week, one entitled "Is humanity capable of love - I don't think so" and the other entitled "Sunday Sermon - The World's biggest Problem - Why did Cain kill Abel?"

From them, you will understand why I don't think Jesus' teaching of love is anything but wishful thinking. I also understand that people who have been rejected desperatedly want to be loved and accepted, and so they will buy into a creed that preaches this.

I do have an inner anchor. That was never my problem. I simply wanted to know why people treated me so badly. And Christians treated me worse than any other group. They destroyed much of my life and I ended up with PTSD and a life that took me another 20 years to get back together. That is not unqiue to me.

I eventually learnt, through science, that I was autistic, and that my lack of social skills and lack of formal skills were why I was struggling. Jealousy from others was also a driving force, but that's another story.

Also, in my mid-60s, I finally realized that people were self-interested, and that was the final piece that fell into place.

My internal security comes from the fact that nobody can harm me anymore, that I no longer have to work for other people, that I now have the skills to negotiate my path, and that I have sufficient friends and supporters to help me through.

I don't care about life after death because I don't believe we live after death.

I wish you well on your journey.