Perhaps you ought to read as many intepretations/translations as I have. :) More than 3000 different versions of the bible have been written/found during the first 1000 years. They are all vary in what they say.

I recall seeing some of those at the King's library in London many years ago. However, I also spent a decade studying those different bibles. It is what convinced me that the last thing it was was the word of god. It is rife with errors.

As Jesus doesn't exist, and as there is no god, it is highly unlikely that you are forgiven. I'm afraid that no one has forgiven your sins, and when you die, that's it.