No, I have never in my entire life ever met a guy who was interested in me. Never. I have never had a relationship. I have had many dates, but not one guy who actually loved, or even liked, being with me.
That said, please understand that I’m highly educated, if informally in some things. That tends to happen when during your schooling days, you read between 2 and 4 books a day, and throughout adulthood, you read a book a day, plus read newspapers, magazines, science abstracts, etc. for a good 5 hours a day. At one time, my reading speed was 500 pages an hour. Not scanning. This is the norm for people who are gifted. That’s how people like Bill Gates are able to read 5 books a week.
When your IQ is in the one in 10,000 range, it’s difficult to find people, never mind men, who are on the same level as you are. I once dated a guy (only once) in Houston. He drove up in a strange car that I had never seen before. So I asked him what it was. I had never heard of it. Then, when we were eating, he started laughing. I asked him what he was laughing about. He said he was laughing at my conversation – that he had never met a woman who talked about those things (geology, palaeontology, climate change, economic, political, ethical systems, etc.)
I was stunned. I asked him what women spoke about. He said their families, their sex lives, their love lives, etc. I was stunned. I have no idea why anyone would talk about that. Why would I talk about my family when they didn’t know anyone in my family? And as I didn’t have a love or sex life, there was nothing to talk about.
My late father spoke 11 or 13 languages, had degrees in law, engineering, and journalism. He owned a very successful business, was consistently president or chairman of the astronomical and engineering societies for much of his life, was published continually, was an amazing dancer, lecturer, and dressed like a GQ model. He was always elegant, and I never heard his use a cuss word in his life. I am accustomed to men like that. For the earlier part of my life, this was the norm for me. Oh, he was good looking as well.
You’re right that just because a man finds one attractive, that it means he can’t like you. I totally accept that. However, the problem is that I am high functioning autistic, highly intelligent, have a lot of knowledge, and most men were not my father. 😊 They didn’t have that level of knowledge. Apparently, while a women’s lack of IQ does not put off a man, women need to be with a man within 10 IQ points of her.
These days, I have a good few men I communicate with on the web. All of them are highly educated and highly intelligent. We have good conversations, and we’ve been doing so for many years. I don’t hate men. I like men, and it is a great loss to me that I never found someone. However, my circumstances and my lack of social understanding (Aspergers) prevented me from mixing with the circles that I needed to be in.
It has been a great loss, and I feel it deeply.
You said, “But you ask, what do I think that those people are lacking in their lives that they want attention? Well, based on your experiences and what you have said about yourself, you probably can’t relate, but a lot of people in the world like to be validated sometimes.”
You’re right. I find it bizarre that people are so desperate for attention. Right now, due to age, I’m invisible. I guess it’s why I’m learning to relax at last. People ignore me. It’s wonderful. I can get on with my life and not be constantly interrupted. Well, except that last year when I took on this apartment, the landlord was interested in me. It’s obvious from subsequent interactions that he is interested. I have shut him down very subtly and very quietly. In my old age, I’ve learnt to do that.
There is definitely a double standard between men and women. Women want a man who earns more than they do, but they want to earn the same as a man. Women moan about men only wanting beautiful women, but they spend a fortune on the beauty industry. They moan about beautiful women being on the covers of magazines and setting up ugly women for failure with men, but they are the one’s who spend the money to make themselves beautiful, and so on, and so forth.
I would definitely like to be liked, but the abuse I’ve experienced throughout my life has made me accept that I will never be liked. Even here, on Medium, I’ve had, apparently, about a 100 articles written about me because I’m (apparently) a horrible person. I’ve had vile things said about me.
Why?
Because I’ve dared to say that writing to bestselling standard is a talent, and most people don’t have it.
I guess there’s not much more to say. For decades, now, I have been avoiding men. I make absolutely sure that they know I’m not interested. I also avoid women who are looking for men. I am very careful and very alone. To quote Tina Turner, “It was not a good life.”
