NEO, there is no such thing as Emotional Intelligence. What it means is that one has the ability to manipulate people to do what one wants them to do. This is not an admirable trait. However, it is one that business wants you to have, so that you can manipulate people into doing what is needed for the business.
When Daniel Goleman wrote the first book on Emotional Intelligence, he wasn't a psychologist. He was a journalist, and he wrote much the same thing as that famous book by Dale Carnegie, 'How to win friends and influence people." That one was very unethical, and it more or less said that if you wanted to sell someone something, you had to pretend to be friends with them.
Goleman did add one thing - that you had to be able to cope with your own emotions and control them. He also spoke about delayed gratification. This is called emotional maturity - not emotional quotient.
In any event, because I am sometimes quite blunt in what I say to people (on the web), people on the web have taken great delight in telling me that while I might have a high IQ, I have very low EQ, no doubt feeling very superior to me.
About a year ago, knowing full well that was a load of nonsense, I did some tests with three very well known organizations like Yale, Standford, Mayo, etc.
Turns out I have an exceptionally high EQ.
It is also worth noting that many very, very highly successful people would appear to have very low EQs and are extremely rude and 'tone deaf.' Take Elon Musk, for example.
So, no, you did not 'fail' because you have a low EQ. There is also evidence that the most successful people do have far higher IQ. For instance, while the average IQ is 100, the average IQ of business owners is 115.
Also, in terms of successful countries, Ashkenazi Jews have the highest in the world (116) and Jews have won 147 Nobel prizes - the highest number of any ethic group. On the other side, Africa has the lowest average IQ (77) and cannot be said to be successful in any way.
Generally, in order to be successful, the most important thing is to have marketable skills. I don't know what your marketable skills are, but those are the one's that count.
I held down many jobs and survived because of my intelligence and ability to learn skills very quickly. I had abysmal people relations. I am high functioning autistic.
Financially, I am not successful. in fact, I cannot think i am successful in any way that people would count as successful. Some people would tell me that I am an excellent writer, and my reviews would testify to that.
So what is success? Biologically, you become successful when you have survived and reproduced. That is what Mother Nature calls successful. Most people are successful that way. My line will die out with my daughter, and one third of baby boomers in America have that same issue.
So, I don't know what the story of your life is, but you did not fail because you had low EQ. Look at your marketable skills level. Check to see if you have a learning disability, ie.. are you on the spectrum? Do you have unresolved trauma, and then go from there.
