Let's see.

I'm pretty much a stoic and a nihilist.

I spent somewhere between 35 and 40 years studying this shit. I was deeply involved in it. I am not interested in life after death or the meaning o f ife. As far as I'm concerned, we disappear, and that's it. I have this life, and I will live it to the best of my ability.

I've read some 600 self-help, psychology,,and neurology books, including books by Carl Jung, Maslow, and the other humanist psycholgoists like Carl Rogers.

Along the way, I was acclaimed, in Africa, to have the considerable gifts and power of a shaman. Mediums have told me I have Mediumistic powers (the kind that see ghosts.) According to my astrology chart, I have a rare chart - that of a child prodigy, that no more learning is required in the field of psychology, and that I can do things in the spiritual world that others can only do with their hands in the material world. According to Chinese astrology, I was born to greatness but refuse to get my hands dirty. I don't belive any of this. All mystic mumbo jumbo.

My point is that I have studied a great deal of all this stuff, and enough is enough.

On the other hand, I've had a lot of experiences I cannot explain - seeing things that are not usually visible, lots of exposure to things like poltergeist activity, becoming telepathic for a day, and more. I can't explain any of those things.

And because I cannot explain them, and nor can anyone else, I just accept them as unexplained phenomena, and it really doesn't interest me one little bit.

My years in the spiritugal, mystic mumbo jumbo, religious community destroyed my life. I did not get a single thing out of it.

I deeply regret the wasted years on this bs. And I will, I suppose, always harbor some resentment towards the people who told me this was real when it was not.

So, no, I'm not missing out on existence at all. I became an atheist in my mid-50s. And since I gave up on all that meaning of life stuff, I have had a good life.