In my early 50s, a woman told me that men would never see me as a person - that my looks would blind them to everything else.

Sometimes I am tempted to write an article with the headline "Do I have whore written on my forehead."

I have had women do everything to destroy me and men do everything to bed me. I have had men walk up to me in the street (and on the sea) saying things like "I hate women like you." I took it to mean that they knew that a woman with my type of looks would never look at them.

The degree of hell that I have gone through as a result of the way I looked (as did my mother) is confirmed by those psychologists who have studied a particular type of beauty. Neither men nor women are comfortable with it. As one supposed friend said to me, "I'm not taking you with me - one look at you, and he will never look at me."

So I feel like a whore when a man finds me desirable. That's all they ever saw in me - sex.

The situation was complicated by other factors. I was privately educated and, I suppose, had the polish of someone who came from a wealthy home. I am also gifted, IQ measured at 165 when I was a young kid and off-the-graph in my mid-40s. I also apparently use both right and left brain, and all sorts of other things. i also have Aspergers.

No man ever saw me as a human. Nobody ever wanted to talk to me about interesting things. It was always all about sex.

At this point, I have many male internet friends, some spanning decades. We talk about many things. Sex is off limits.

I will never forgive men for the way they treated me. If a man shows any interest in me, I walk away. I am more than my body.