I used to ghostwrite. The number of people who emailed me telling me that they had a fantastic life story and if I would write it for free, then they would give me a protion of their takings. Um. No.

The other one was a guy who wanted me to play scriptdoctor to his screenplay. He wanted me to do it on his laptop while he sat next to me. He was telling me how Charlize Theron was going to play the female lead and Harrison Ford the male lead - the script hadn't been sold and had not even been submitted to any producers.

Then he wanted to redesing my website for me, but as I charged more for my editing than he did for his design skills, I would still owe him while he didn't owe me.

I said no.

He became really nasty and accused me of renegading on a deal.

What deal?