I think you’re missing something here -probably because you haven’t read the research. I have.

The only reason that men haven’t had their looks taken into consideration for much of human history is because men had the financial power and women weren’t permitted to hold jobs. They had to marry for money. That has changed. Research some years ago showed that women preferred men with looks to men with money. All human beings are attracted to beauty. A bit of international research showed that babies that were a few weeks old smiled when approached by a woman with large eyes and high cheekbones (classic definition of beauty internationally) while they cried when they were approached by women who were unattractive. It was done to ascertain whether the standard of beauty is socialized or whether it’s innate. It’s innate.

Yes, of course, men are looking for women they find attractive. However, Hollywood wouldn’t have the standard they did (or the modelling world) if 99% of people didn’t find the same kind of looks attractive.

I have looked at Beyonce. She is hardly attractive. So I’m not sure why you are calling her attractive. I’m not talking about a physical body. I’m talking about the face – what the face looks like. I was a size 4 or 6 for most of my life – hardly voluptuous – very small.

Also, I’m talking about beautiful women who do NOT wear wigs, fake nails, eyelashes, whatever. I have always been entirely natural, except for a light lipstick. I never frequented hairdressers, or anything else. The only thing I always did was dress elegantly. Oh, and I wore heels. However, I never dressed for men. I spent 12 years at an all girls school, 7 day school, and 5 boarding school. I dressed because I loved beautiful clothes, looking elegant, etc. Had nothing to do with men. I was always taught that men didn’t look at things like that. Women, I was told, dressed for women.

“I also know that this may sound a bit hypocritical, but I’m not sure if a man’s main quality of attraction should be his looks.”

Well, of course, you’re being hypocritical. Why should a woman’s main quality be her looks? Again, it’s just that men had the power and women did not, so powerful men with lots of men chose the beautiful women because they had the choice. Men without that power were left with the remnants.

You said, “men aren’t necessarily designed to be beautiful per se. Women are called the fairer sex for a reason.”

Neither men nor women were ‘designed.’ And if you look at Mother Nature, it is the male that is the peacock, the lion that has the mane, the deer which has the antlers. Mother Nature has designed men to be the more decorative – not the women.

Just as most men aren’t stunning looking, most women aren’t beautiful. It is a very small percentage of both sexes that are stunning to look at. The difference is that men are physically stronger, and they have lots of testosterone, so they fought about who should have the beautiful women. And, women, needing a provider, leant to vie amongst themselves to be beautiful, using artifice to look good. It’s all about finding a provider.

You said, “That doesn’t mean that a man shouldn’t take care of himself as much as he can and try to work well with what he has, it’s just that women may be doing themselves a disservice if they are waiting around for men who look like Ryan, gosling, Channing Tatum, Brad Pitt and Kevin Costner in their primes, or whoever else. Most average men are probably, well, just average.”

You do yourself a grave disservice by thinking like this. You appear to think that women can only be judged by their looks whereas men just be jugged by their characters. Why is that? It’s the height of hypocrisy. Both genders are human, and one standard does not apply to one gender but not the other.

The problem is not that women are doing themselves a grave disservice by looking for good looking man. It’s that men who are not good looking don’t have access to beautiful women, so they tell themselves that beautiful women should look at ugly men. So why don’t ugly men look at ugly women?

For the record, Brad Pitt is vaguely good looking. Ryan Gosling, Channing, Tatum, and Kevin Costner are not in the least good looking. Pierce Brosnan and Antonia Banderas were good looking in their days. Sean Connery was not good looking. What they all emitted was a sense of power, money, and charisma. Why do you think Melania Trump went for Donald Trump?

You said, “not if men have other things going for themselves such as good character, emotional intelligence, social skills, confidence, good hygiene and taking care of themselves, an attractive energy, etc.”

Yes, like men, women will also settle for what they can get. 😊The major attraction, though, is money. I’m afraid good character is mostly lacking these days. It’s hard to find – in both genders. Emotional intelligence is just another word for manipulation. Psychopaths have lots of it. Emotional maturity, on the other hand, is lacking. Confidence is something that arrives naturally when people are good at what they do. And so on, and so forth.

I’m 71/2 now, and I’m very unhappy. For the first time in my life, I’m in a safe place. This morning, I told my daughter about all the men whose first words to me were “I want to put my dick into you,” or “I want to sleep with you.” And so on, and so forth. My daughter said that women are supposed to feel flattered when a man is sexually attracted to them (I know my sister is), but I have always found it insulting. It never even occurred to me that was what it was about. I have always thought that I most look like a whore. It certainly upset me terribly.

My daughter also told me this morning that this is what the patriarchy is - men who think that they’re entitled to a woman, just because they want her. I never knew that.