I think that there is a difference between learning something and being influenced by someone else.

The dictionary defines influences as "the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself."

Another dictionary gives the meaning as: the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways : sway. 2. a. : the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command.

The dictionary defines learning as: knowledge acquired through study, experience, or being taught. A secondary meaning is "knowledge acquired through study, experience, or being taught."

In other words, the former is someone changing without them realizing they have been changed, while the second is understanding that one is changing.

I don't believe that anyone has the moral (or ethical) right to try to change others without them being made aware of how and why they are being made to change. In my experience, when this happens, it is not for the good of the individual. Rather it is for the good of the person who is doing the influencing.

Learning is different to that. I can decide to learn something new. I can decide I don't like an aspect of my character, and then I can consult or read or find ways to change.

Learning is for my own benefit. Influence is seldom for the benefit of the person who is being influenced.

Most certainly, influencing is a part of human interaction, and certainly, for most of my life, it wasn't something acknowledged or spoken about. There is a phrase 'undue influence' and it is there because, for the most part, influencing others is not a good thing.

You said, "I believe that writing, advertising, and group dynamics are all mediums through which influence can be exerted, and each has its unique set of merits and limitations."

I think you have to look at how I opened my article. To quote: I am always amazed that some people seem to think that their articles are going to convince anyone to do anything. I say that because, from time to time, I hear someone say that they have failed to make an impact on the world. I also know, from writing on various topics, for more than 60 years, that not one thing I have written has made any difference to anything out there.

I am specifically talking about a certain group of individuals - basically people who measure their own worth by the degree of change they have made on an international level through their writing.

My response to this was that it was not going to happen, and I gave my reasons.

The other point I want to make is that when one influences someone, one is essentially manipulating them. Both get others to do things without being aware that they are being led to do something that they wouldn't have done if they had been aware of the dynamics being played out.

From time to time, I have had people say things like "Wouldn't you rather be happy than right?" The question is meant to make me decide I want to be happy. Unfortunately, I have never cared much about being happy, and I certainly don't see how I can be happy when I have accepted something that is wrong. Why would I support a crime just to be happy? I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Of course, the therapist who was asking me this was assuming that I wanted to be right all the time, in spite of being wrong. She didn't understand me very well.

One of the reasons I have so little time or respect for therapists is because I always saw the manipulation, and I never received any direct answers to my questions.

You say, "it's through this exchange of ideas that attitudes can be shaped or altered."

I have never in my entire life met anyone who has shaped or changed my ideas. Never. When i am challenged on my perspective, I am able to defend them all the way.

The exception to that may have been during my school days - K12. I was certainly influenced to read on my first day of school in my 2nd year. Best thing that ever happened to me. I was also certainly influenced to live a moral life by what I read. However, couldn't that be considered learning. The words were direct - not subtle, trying to get me to be someone I wasn't.

I think one of the aspects of attempting to influence others is that a carrot of some type is always offered. "If you do this, then you will get that." Perhaps, the reason that I see influence so differently is because I have never wanted anything that anyone has offered me. Even though I have desperately needed money at times, I have never been tempted to accept it if something unethical went with it.

This is different for most people. Most people are led by appetite. Therefore, they are easily influenced, i.e. manipulated.

You say, "I believe that influence, when exercised ethically and constructively, can foster positive change and enrich discussions on various topics."

I believe that teaching and learning can produce ethical change. I doubt very much that anyone attempts to influence others (get them to do something without their knowledge) can be ethical.

Your response?