I lived in the States for 11 years. I found that people flattered you, and I can't stand false flattery.

I'm actually not rude. I'm direct. Not the same thing. Then, again, what does it mean to be rude? I think it means that something one said gets at someone's ego in some way. I don't know.

The dictionary defines it as being too abrupt or being offensive.

There was a great article on the web more than a decade ago. It was an American professor who had taken a position at University of Cape Town. He grew more and more concerned because the class didn't respond to him well. He kept asking them how he was doing, they would say 'fine' and then continue to take notes.

At the end of the semester, he sent out a questionnaire about his performance and everybody said that he was the best professor they had ever had.

He then did some research, and he even found books written about the need for Americans to be flattered and affirmed all the time. The professor then moved on to a position in the UK and found students much the same as in South Africa.

He said that he had been used to American students who 'affirmed' him all the time.

"Prof - I enjoyed your lecture."

"Prof - that was so interesting."

"Prof - I really like the way you teach."

He didn't get this in other countries.

Alaine de Botton spoke about the self-help industry in America. He said that if you go into any bookstore, you will get an entire section how to improve yourself, and then right next to it, how to get rid of depression.

He theorized that the depression comes from trying to improve oneself and aim for things that are pretty much unlikely. He does a great video on stoism and self-acceptance.

I'm sad about the fact that some Americans are not able to cope with facts, but not much I can do aboout it. I don't have the stomach to endlessly flatter people in order to get them to read what I write.