I cannot tell you how many doctors or therapists told me I was depressed, and I must take antidepressants. I have, for a lifetime, refused pointblank to take any sort of drug. I saw what they did to my brother.

Besides, I didn't feel depressed. Being in deep pain for valid reasons is quite sane. My motivation was never lost. I was still deeply interested in life around me. I still got beautifully dresesd. etc.

I would be given stupid questionnaires to answer like:

1. Do you see any hope in life? Well, no. We all more or less end at some point. I'm a nihilist.

2. Is there any meaning in your life? Well, no. I'm just another microdot in the universe.

3. Do you have a deep friendships and people around you who cherish you? Well, no. Unfortunately, that wasn't the situation I was born into.

Etc.

Depressed?

I have been extremely unhappy. I recognize that. Anyone who was happy in my situation would be nuts. What has saved me for a lifetime is a deep interest in the world around me, eternally curious, reading, learning new skills at colleges in the UK, Africa, America, wherever I am. I've traveled with a camera in my hand and a laptop to write stories.

I was interested in life.

And that's the one question they never asked me.

Screw psychologists and doctors.

Oh, yes, and in my early 60s, I discovered I had Aspergers.