Hi Janice,

I speak with some similarity - a single parent, battling poverty, autistic, a victim of severe abuse myself, etc. And I made many, many mistakes.

1. A lot of what children believe about their parents now comes from their peers, and from the popular press that blames all problems of the kids on their parents.

2. All problems that children have are not caused by their upbringing and their parents. Sometimes, it's their genes. Sometimes, it's the social environment that gives them the wrong information.

3. There is only so much blame that a parent can take. I had every reason to fall into every negative category there was. I didn't. I got out of it. So can every human being. My mother didn't. I do think there is a genetic component to that, but what I'm trying to say here, is that it's not all your fault, and even if some of it is or was, by the time a kid is in their 30s, they should have developed enough maturity to fortive and forget. Time to let the past go and focus on building bonds where they didn't exist before.

4. Sometimes it's not possible. I could never communicate with my mother while she was alive. If she was alive now, I finally have the maturity to say what needed to be said, but it never happened that way. I forgive her for what she did, but she died without any connectivity between us.

You have your life now. Live it well.