Hi,

It is Goleman. That is the name of the guy who wrote the book – not Goldman.

Next, I googled Wayne Pain, and started reading what he had written about emotional intelligence. I immediately realized it was very different to what Daniel Goleman had written, and to what was written about it in the later links you sent me.

Then I read further and discovered this paragraph: “Wayne was obviously concerned about how society has historically suppressed emotions. This is something that Salovey and Mayer also seemed to be concerned about in their original 1990 paper on EI, though less so than Wayne. In comparison, Dan Goleman seems never to have been very concerned about the suppression of emotion. Instead, he gives the impression he believes we need to control and "regulate" our emotions even more than we are already taught to do.”

What Daniel Goleman is speaking about is not what either Wayne Pain or John Mayer and Peter Salovey wrote about. To quote: Also, in his 1995 book Goleman made it clear that he thought the ability to "control impulse" and "delay gratification" was a main part of emotional intelligence. In contrast, Mayer and Salovey have never included the ability to delay gratification in their definition of EI.

I want to quote to you from the article you gave me. “EI also focuses on the character and aspects of self-control, such as the ability to delay pleasures, the tolerance to frustrations, and the regulation of impulses (ego strength)” Yes, it’s called emotional maturity – when one is able to control one’s emotions. What is interesting is that this is not what either Wayne or Salovey and Mayer was talking about. They were concerned that emotions were being suppressed as a result of all this control.

The only intelligence that matters when it comes to problem solving (not talking about getting along with people) is IQ. Without it, we wouldn’t have the modern world. It’s simply not possible to invent what we have invented without elevated intelligence. Generally it’s the top .5% and they carry the rest of humanity in terms of invention and discovery.

I’m curious about your sentence about what happens when psychopaths rule. Nothing good, but nothing bad happens to them either. The bad that happens is to good people, so I’m not sure what your point is.

I was concerned that the solution you found would turn out to be short-term, but, of course, I can be wrong. I’ve never had a problem with my emotions. I think the secret is life is gratitude for what one has and a generosity of spirit towards others.

I wish you well.