And what happens if i can work out all that I need to know on my own?

What is it that you think you know that I don't know?

I know that there is some sort of life force, and I can connect to it at will. However, there are no gods, angels or demons in it.

As a result of a particular experience of mine, I believe all or most life forms to be connected in a way that human beings are not. I'm not quite sure why that is, but that was what I experienced.

My problems in this life are strictly to do with how to make enough money to survive, where to find a home, etc. They are practical problems, and I use my knowledge and intelligence to resolve them.

There are things I really enjoy doing - dancing (ballroom, swing, and Latin), lap swimming, walking in the old world looking at old architecture, photography, decorating, reading, writing, etc. My world is full. I even, on occasion, enjoy meeting with friends for coffee.

Yes, I have some desperate moments, but in the morning I get up and start again.

My point is that if I was missing anything, I would probably read some more. I tend to read for about 5 hours per day, sometimes through the night. I've lived in many countries, done many jobs, acquired many skills, socialized with the very rich and the very poor. I've been to the heart of Africa and breathed in prmal jungle and walked the streets of Paris, New York, London, etc.

What will studying things I am not interested in give me? I essentially don't care why we are here. It bores me. I have no great need for my life to have meaning. As a nihilist, I don't believe any of us have meaning. As a stoic, I handle things as they come.